Friday 27 September 2013

A lot of work to do...



                                     


Recently my dad sold his house, my childhood home. It is a beautiful place, 7 acres, amazing views, century old monkey puzzle trees... I could go on but it makes me a tad sad.
This year has been a year of letting go for me.  Letting go of stuff, places, and people. I've got a long way to go, but I think I've learnt some big lessons. Losing someone I loved dearly was the start. My aunt passed away a year ago this week. A year that felt like 5.
I inherited a bunch of her stuff. Some I treasure like a silver bracelet she wore. An old folk art chopping board she painted. But some stuff is just stuff. Stuff I can't clutter up my already full place with just because she once owned it. Like an old bucket full of tools that no longer work, a broken statue. A plain old coffee table ( I already have two) And more. I felt like I had to keep it, solely because she once owned it. I worried if I gave it away I was giving away a piece of her or a piece of my memory of her.
But my mum once told me "your house is not a museum Jo". And it's starting to sink in. I can't hold on to silly stuff just because someone I love once owned it. I can't be the curator of a crazy cluttered museum full of stuff that means nothing other than it holds a memory. I need to be selective in my hoarding!
So to my dad's house. Years of childhood memories, family heirlooms, and beautiful things. Going. My anxiety at letting more special stuff disappear was high. I saved some stuff for siblings who are away, some stuff that mum had left behind and felt she couldn't or shouldn't claim back. And yes I got some stuff for me. Childhood books, toys for my kids, some beautiful crockery and some furniture. An old cupboard from my family's old historical mansion of a farmhouse that I lived in when I was young. And a great big old filing cabinet, which has been mouldering away in the shed for years. I've always wanted to save it, and Dad finally let it go. ( I think this difficulty in letting go must be genetic!!)
But it needs work, lots of work. And I'm daunted by it all. But I'm hoping the process will be successful. And maybe a bit cathartic.
                                
 

2 comments:

  1. The filing cabinet is gorgeous! Letting go is always hard when there is sentiments attached to it. Love your style of writing Jo, it's so honest, it feels like you are talking to me which is so lovely when you find a new blog...

    all the best with the blog school experience

    x

    Tash

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  2. Oh Jo, I so agree! I find it hard to curate rather than accumulate. Especially when the objects link me to people or times I am fond of. xx

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